Love Is The Drug
by Cymru01
Summary: Love. One of the hardest things to find and one of the hardest things to hold on to. But when you have it you can't live without it. With the war taking place and tragedy after tradgedy striking James and Lily will their love survive? First Fanfic :S:S
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** I don't own a thing my dears! Unless your counting the plot, then I guess that is mine because as far as I know JK Rowling is a talented writer whereas I am not. And just basically anything you don't recognise is mine most probably. I think. Yeah ….

**Authors Note **Eeek! My first fanfic. Okay I will post the first few chapters then kind of assess the kind of feedback I'm getting and see whether or not I should continue.

That means I want reviews guys! Good or bad. I can take it – I'm a big girl now.

Also I would like to thank James' Lily flower too. If I hadn't been speaking with her recently I most probably wouldn't have jacked myself into gear and actually posted anything. Diolch!

Just give it a chance ;), os gwelwch yn dda? (Haha, if your Welsh hopefully you would have been taking over by my use of the language and will review now!)

Okay Here it is.

Love Is The Drug

Chapter One

She gripped the edge of the scuzzy, dirt-splattered sink. Her dainty, porcelain hands looking severely out of place. A glint of gold on her left ring finger contrasted oh-so-nicely though. She took a deep breath and allowed herself to remove her hands to test her own balance. She stumbled only slightly, but felt this was acceptable enough.

She took in her appearance by looking into the cracked mirror. It distorted her image slightly but either way she could tell she didn't look good.

Her usual vibrant auburn curls hung limply atop her head. Slightly sweat-drenched. You could see evidence of the aforementioned sweat clinging to her flushed cheeks and falling in bead form down her neck and into her cleavage which was on show in her low-cut spaghetti strap dress. Her emerald eyes glistened with unshed tears and dark bags were forming underneath them.

She turned on the sink and splashed herself with the cool merciful water.

"Come on Lily, get a hold of yourself." Her unusually husky voice broke the deafening silence, which had been in the bathroom up until that point. She took out her willow wand from her purse on the counter and waved it effortlessly over herself. Within moments her hair had it's naturally bounce and playfulness back to it, falling provocatively to the small of her back and her cheeks glowed healthily.

She applied a nude shade of lipstick to her lips slowly. Her worries entered her mind as she applied the lipstick at a snails pace.

There was a war going on. Not six months out of school and she had somehow got herself mixed up in this war. Not only that but she had really messed up big this time. What would James say when she finally got around to telling him?

What if he left her?

With that thought a single solitary tear slid down her cheek as she abruptly stopped her ritual applying of her lipstick.

A knock at the door brought her out of her reverie.

"Almost done," she replied while coughing to try and cover up the way her voice was cracking. The door opened an inch.

"Love? It's me, James. It is actually you right Lil? Your voice kind of sounded a bit like a man. Oh Merlin! _Is_ there a man in there?" James' gentle teasing made a small but genuine smile grace her face. She opened the door to find him leaning against the doorframe. A lopsided smirk on his face to match his glasses that had fallen slightly lopsided. His arms crossed in front of his toned chest and his foot tucked behind the other in an overly confident pose. On any other man the pose would have made him look arrogant and abrupt. Actually the only other who could pull off that pose was one Mr. Sirius Black.

"Your not funny Mr. Potter, no-body laughs at your jokes or even listens anymore." Her bored tone did nothing to put him off his stride.

"Au contraire Mrs Potter! Laughing people often surround me. All dying to hear my next tale of heroism or witty story. If I may say so myself – I am quite the life of any party." He nodded his head while speaking as if talking to a child. Lily snorted despite her self and shook her head. Happy to finally get something out of her he gave up the witty banter and became the concerned husband.

"You feeling okay? You've been in here a while now. I just left Remus to carry on listening to Sirius' shag of the week tale. He was not happy with me," A throaty chuckle escaped his lips as he walked forward and backed her up against the sink. He placed his hands on her hips and gently kissed her exposed neck.

"So he's got it down to one a week now? He is really improving. Oh! Did Rosmerta hear him? She was the week before lasts wasn't she?" Her head was lolling back to give him better access to her neck. He laughed lightly against her neck causing tingles to go down her spine. It was amazing they still did that after 4 months of marriage.

"Well I think that she wasn't cleaning that table next to ours over and over again because it was really dirty if you know what I mean. And you didn't answer my question." He leaned away from her and cupped her chin in his hand so that her vibrant eyes met his.

"I'm okay James. Don't worry allright?" She placed a haste feather-light kiss to lips. "So order meeting now then?" She felt the sudden urge to be sick now that she brought herself out of her blissful state with James and back to what was really going on. The war.

"Yup. It's ten to seven now and we have to be there by seven so we better go. I'll go grab your coat." He sounded defeated after she had refused yet again to admit what was wrong with her. He flashed her a sad smile before leaving to retrieve her coat.

Lily sighed and looked at her reflection once more.

She placed a hand lightly on her abdomen.

"_I'll tell him tonight."_

**AN **Phew! First chappie done. I will add the next soon.

I know it doesn't really seem overly interesting as of yet, but I needed to set the scene so just bare with me okay?

Also, I felt that I should credit that I got the title for this while listening to "Love Is The Drug" from Roxy Music written by Bryan Ferry and Andy Mackay. Just in case you wan to listen to give you a kind of feel for the story. Mesh, I don't know what I'm talking about really. I'm just really bad at titles.

Review if you are oh-so-kind enough to.

Rydw i'n caru ti!

Cymru01xxxoooxxx


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer I own nothing

**Disclaimer** I own nothing. Except if you don't recognise it then it's probably from my wonderfully warped mind. :D

**Authors Note** Second Chapter! Enjoy ;)

Love Is The Drug

Chapter 2

Lily and James walked hand in hand through the town of Hogsmeade where they rented a sweet, cosy flat. By cosy of course this meant extremely small, but hey that's how estate agents sell things! It was all they could really afford considering they had only just left school and no matter how rich James' parents were James refused to accept money from them. James stared at their entwined fingers, loving the way the wedding ring looked on Lily's finger. He then changed his gaze so that it was pointed at her face. His loved up, goofy smile soon turned to his lips being pursed together in worry and his eyebrows furrowed together in concern.

You could see the cogs whirring in her brain as she thought about whatever it was that was stressing her so much. The muscles in her neck looked tense as was the rest of her body, which had been like that for the past week now.

The meeting had gone by as it usually did. When they met up with Peter Pettigrew, who helped to make up the marauders along with Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and James himself, Sirius had once again divulged into his tale of his shag of the week. It was turning out that Sirius was rather smitten with Marlene McKinnon, no matter what he may say or believe. It had been a long time coming as well in James' opinion. They were like duplicates of each other only one female and the other male. However many times he had to sit and listen to Sirius to tell of his recent escapades with a member of the opposite sex, Lily could match with the times that Marlene had done the same. So back to the story then. Lily talked with Marlene in hushed voices, whether they were talking about Sirius or not he couldn't be sure. But they looked so serious that he really doubted that they were talking about something so trivial.

Throughout the meeting Lily had seemed distant and distracted. Therefore James was distracted throughout the entire meeting then. Continually squeezing her hand or knee and asking if she was allright. The big blow came however when Dumbledore mentioned Edgar and Lucinda Bones and their children being murdered throughout the week and asked everyone to bow their heads and give them a minute of silence. Out of respect. Lily started shaking all over at the mention of Edgar and Lucinda's' children. Bewildered, James had put an arm around her. It was upsetting yes, but no one reacted this way anymore. At least not after they had heard of the deaths initially anyway. All James could really think of that was good about the entire situation with Edgar and Lucinda was that they were all together. The whole family had gone together so nobody was left to deal without the other. Often, James would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat over a dream where Lily had been killed in the war and he was left alone. But every time he would look over to see her sleeping peacefully by his side.

She was obviously concerned about something, something that she didn't feel comfortable enough to tell James. This hurt James terribly but he just tried to be the supportive husband and grin and bear it. But it helped him to think that she was simply uncomfortable and that it wasn't the fact that maybe she didn't trust him with whatever was plaguing her.

The look in Lily's eyes was slowly depressing James. He finally needed to know what was wrong with her.

He stopped abruptly; his hand attached to hers still meant that she too came to a halt.

"James wha-"

" Lily, are you going to ever tell me what is wrong?" He wasn't looking at her but at a single drop of rain he had just noticed. Lily stared intently at the side of his head, her eyes glistening and her bottom lip starting to tremble in such a childlike fashion that she felt ashamed of herself. After a short while James sighed in exasperation at her lack of response. He turned to her and took her other hand in his as well.

"Whatever is worrying you Lil I will help you. If you need to do something or say something that's going to be hard for you then remember I'm here, I will help you. I love you Lily, but this is killing me. It's like-it's like you don't trust me anymore." He had finally voiced his fear to Lily and when it left his mouth he had to look at the ground. Scared of what emotion was being displayed in those beautiful eyes or what answer she could possibly give him. Was she leaving him? Did she not love him anymore? At some point when he was speaking rain had started to fall. The single drop he had seen had turned into hundreds of thousands droplets. Lily was slowly getting soaked. But she didn't care. James looked and sounded defeated. His posture, his words, and the way he refused to meet her eye. It was horrible what she had done to him simply because she was scared. This was it. She had to tell him now. But it was what reaction he would give her then that scared her most.

There had been a think, tense silenced over them where Lily gazed intently at James, and James the floor. Lily took a huge shaky breath.

"I'm pregnant James."

James turned his head to look at her so quickly that he got a crick in his neck. He searched her eyes quickly to see if there was any trace of a lie. They were the most genuine he had seen them in a long time.

He was going to be a father. He would have a son or a daughter. Somebody would be calling him daddy in nine months. He and Lily would have made a beautiful life, one that they could both love.

The news was overwhelming! Amazing! Oh how much they would love this child. Why on Earth had Lily been so worried about this? Why had she seemed so upset? Why was she close to tears earlier on at the meeting? Suddenly James realised.

"Edgar Bones and his children and wife they…" He needn't so any more. He now understood. They were at war. How could they possibly bring yet another life onto this planet that was in danger? One that they would love uncontrollably. At his words Lily burst into furious tears.

"James, I'm so sorry we should have been more careful, we-we-we shouldn't have let this happen. Wh-wh-what are we going to do? Y-y-y-you don't h-have to feel guilty 'bout anything. I'm just-just sorry I-"

"I have to go." James' mind was moving at a rapid pace. He had to go somewhere. He didn't know where. This is just what his instincts were telling him to do. He dropped Lily's hands. If he had looked up he would have seen Lily's mouth hanging down and her eyes filled with pure fear. Tears were falling mercilessly down her face, and sobs were wracking her body.

James took a step away from her his eyes had left hers a while ago by now. He turned his back to her and began to walk.

"No, no, NO! James please no," Lily grabbed at his arm pleading with him, but he shrugged her off. "Please don't g-g-go! We can do this together! I can't do this without you! Please I can't do anything w-without you!" James pulled his arm harshly away from her grip and muttered something about Sirius'.

When he pulled away from her she fell to the ground from the force. The rainwater now completely soaked through her clothes.

"James! James! JAMES!"

But it was too late he had already apparated away.

James Potter had walked away from the two things he had always wanted in life, ever since he first saw Lily Evans.

Why? Because of fear. Fear was what drove them all these days.

**AN** Sooooooo. What do you think?

I know a little angsty and it hasn't really got into the story properly yet but it will in the next few chapters.

Please review!

Rydw i'n caru ti!!

Cymru01xxxoooxxx


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer** Once again, I own nothing. 'Cept the bits which obviously didn't come from the amazingly clever mind of JK Rowling.

**AN** Okay so, if you have read the first two chapters and are actually still interested --gasps!--then here is the third. I just want to thank anybody and everybody who has actually decided to give my story a chance!

Warning in advance this one is a bit of a long one.

I really love youu! :D:D

Love Is The Drug

Chapter 3

That night had passed. Eventually.

James had gone Sirius' flat all the way down in London. At the flat were Sirius, Remus and Marlene.

"James? Mate, what's wrong?" These had been Sirius' first words to him when he went through the door. Marlene sat on the stool by the counter. Her eyes gave away that she knew exactly what was wrong.

"Lily, Lily she…" James hadn't looked at anybody since he had entered the flat he walked over to the sofa though and out his face in his hands. At the mention of Lily's name though, of course Sirius went into panic mode.

"Lily? What? Where is she James? Shit! Something happened. James What happened?" Sirius had started pacing but on his last words he took hold of James by the shoulders and James looked him in the eye for the first time.

"She's pregnant." But the voice didn't come from James but rather Marlene. "James, where is she? At your flat? I'll go see her, see if she's okay."

James stared blankly at Marlene.

"I-uh-I left her. We were outside and I left her there. She, I, um I think she was crying." James' words were detached he was looking into space and his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. Sirius was looking at his best mate with an odd expression on his face. It could have been pity, it could have been loathing.

"Outside? But James, you're soaking! Oh Merlin! You left a pregnant woman on her own, in the pouring rain crying. Good move slick!" Marlene's voice was shaking with anger but her face showed pure concern. "I'm off. I will go find her." With that she left the flat and apparated to Hogsmeade.

James stared at a part of the wall that had a small crack running up it. If Sirius wasn't careful that could be some costly work to do. Why he was thinking of trivial stuff like this right now, he didn't know. He slid off of the arm of the sofa and on to the sofa itself, now staring at his own hands. He felt the sofa shift beside him.

"So, what now James?" Remus spoke to him in a calm manner, his voice held authority and he didn't seem to be too bothered by the news, but of course he was.

James turned and looked at his best friend of seven and a half years. It seemed that Remus was also contemplating the crack he had noticed earlier. James looked at Sirius who was leaning against the breakfast bar. His eyes were fierce and he was shaking his head looking at the man he considered his brother. The man who Sirius always looked to for guidance. He couldn't really comprehend being the one to give support for once. He felt an over-powering resentment towards his brother though. Why was he not supporting his wife?

"Yeah James. What now?" Sirius repeated Remus' unanswered question but he repeated it with more fire.

James looked back and forth between his two best friends and sighed.

"I really don't know."

* * *

After James had apparated away from her. Lily had stayed in the rain. She screamed his name, and as time passed she felt more and more like she couldn't breath because of the ferocity of her tears.

She had screwed up so bad. What was she supposed to do? She couldn't do anything as long as she didn't have James. She needed him. She always had and always would.

What would her mother say if she was still alive? She would have been so disappointed. The thought made her cry all the more harder. It also reminded her of the fact she would have to tell her father too.

Abortion couldn't be an option. It could never be an option with her family. She had thought about it. It had been a very possible option in her mind from the beginning. But she couldn't do that. She couldn't lie to her family. He was already so upset that she had gotten married so soon after Hogwarts. She could only imagine his face when he found that she was a month pregnant.

What type of World was she going to bring this child in to? Would her child even have a father?

She picked her self up as her desperate cries had turned into sobs.

She wanted to see James. She understood he was scared. But she wanted to help him. She felt the same as him. But she knew that there was a possibility that she wasn't going to get a chance to see him again. He may just try and wash his hands of her and their child.

As soon as she thought that she reprimanded herself mentally.

She shouldn't even wonder if James would ever do that to her - he wouldn't surely? She wasn't sure how long she had been standing in the rain but she now noticed now that her sobs had reduced greatly and that she was shaking terribly and it was more to do with the fact she was dripping wet.

She needed to get home. That was all she was sure of right now.

She stumbled through the quiet street of Hogsmeade. Nobody was around. If it hadn't been for the deafening hammering of the now pounding rain, it would have been deathly silent.

As she tried to make her way back to her flat she suddenly felt a stabbing pain in her stomach. Just like one you would get if you had overeaten. She carried on walking but then was met by another. This one more intense. She made her way over to the wall next to a narrow alleyway. She leaned a hand on the wall just in time for the next stabbing pain.

This one excruciating.

"Oh-oh-God! -…" Her breath was now coming in short gasps and her other hand had gone out to support herself on the wall. She now looked as if she was bracing herself. Which she was, against the pain. Then came the next.

"OH GOD!! H-h-h-h- help! Please!!" She had once again started crying, to an on-looker it would seem out of pain but it was as if the tables had turned. She was actually crying out of fear. This surely was about the baby. It had to be.

"Help! Please!!" she didn't know whom she was trying to make hear her but she needed someone. As another wave of stabbing pains hit her, her shaking legs gave way. She fell to the floor and felt her shoulder hit the ground awkwardly. In the back of her mind she knew that she had probably hurt her shoulder but right now all coherent thoughts had gone out the window. She was weaker now. Her tears were still pouring but she was starting to lose energy. Her eyes were slowly slipping closed. They were becoming more and more heavy every time she tried to blink.

Something was wrong. So, so wrong.

"James…"

She slipped into the realms of unconsciousness

* * *

Marlene had apparated into the centre of Hogmeade, knowing that Lily and James' flat had anti-apparition spells surrounding it. She had bumped into her mothers' old friend Mrs. Grumblehorn.

"Marlene? Is that you dear? I didn't notice you for a minute there, your hair used to be such a lovely chocolate brown now its black. Why did you do that dear." Her elderly voice quavered a bit, as they tend to do. Marlene rolled here eyes before turning to the elderly woman with an umbrella. There was some type of bird on the end of the handle which she was sure was watching her.

"Nice to see you too Mrs Grumblehorn," she rolled her eyes but the woman was hard of eyesight and didn't notice. "Yeah, I just guess I wanted a change. Sorry I can't stay I have to go see a friend of mine." She started to walk away but then Mrs Grumblehorn caught her arm and with surprising strength pulled her under her umbrella.

"Nonsense! You're getting soaked, you must come in and have some tea."

"No honestly, my friend has had bit of an emergency so I must go to her now. You know, see if she's okay."

"Oh you are a good girl Marly!" She pinched Marlene's cheek, which Marlene grimaced at. "At least let me lend you an umbrella dear. Come inside and I will get one for you in a jiffy!" Marlene finally relented and followed Mrs Grumblehorn into her house, which was but a few doors away from where they were standing.

They walked into her small cottage and Ellis Grumblehorn told Marlene to sit down while she fetched the umbrella. Marlene checked her watch. It had already been about fifteen to twenty minutes since James had arrived at Sirius' flat. How had the time gone so quickly?

"Ellis? It's lovely of you to offer your umbrella but I really must be off now," Marlene called down the hall to her. Ellis came out of the spare room with a thoroughly downhearted look that melted Marlene's heart.

"Oh. I was really hoping that you would stay and have a cup of tea and a pumpkin pasty with me. I haven't really had anybody to talk to since William passed. I miss you and your brothers as well. How are they all? All grown up now aren't they, well you are too I suppose." She laughed softy, softly but sadly.

Marlene gazed at her. This woman really did look after her and her brothers a lot when they were younger. She must be so lonely lately. She sighed and looked at her watch again. She supposed that Lily could wait a bit longer. She did have a really bad problem but it would still be there in an hours' time. She might not get the chance to come see Ellis again for a while.

"Sure, okay then. But just the one Mrs Grumblehorn, I don't want to be putting weight on now."

"Thank you sweetie." Ellis gave Marlene a genuine smile and if you looked close enough you would be able to see her eyes shining with tears but it disappeared as soon as it came. She walked into the kitchen and Marlene followed her.

"So where's this promised pumpkin pasty then eh?"

* * *

Shutting the door with a click behind her she checked her watch. She had spent about fifty minutes in Mrs. Grumblehorns'. She really had to get to Lily's right now. She needed her close to an hour ago but she had to have tea with poor Mrs Grumbleshorn.

Damn her and her need to please.

She walked at a quick pace, needing to make up for as much time as possible. The rain had now subsided but there was a really cold wind blowing, so she pulled her jacket around herself a little tighter.

She rounded the corner and was thinking about exactly how Lily might have reacted when James just left. Did she breakdown and cry or get angry and go home and cut up all his clothes? But just as she was thinking this she saw a lump on the floor next to the alley just a street away from Lily and James' flat. She stopped walking when she realised the lump had vibrant red hair.

"Lily…" her voice was breathy and couldn't really be heard over the wind. She had a sudden adrenaline burst as she ran full pelt to her best friends side and turned her on her back. Her lips had gone blue and her skin was like ice to touch.

"Lily, come on baby. You're allright, you're allright." She muttered under her breath as an almost chant mainly to sooth herself seeing as Lily was completely unconscious. Then she thought of the baby. Her hand flew to Lily's abdomen and caressed lightly. Tears she didn't know had been forming now rolled down her cheeks.

She needed to get Lily somewhere warm now. She tried picking her up bridal style but ended up falling back over on to her rear. It wasn't that Lily was fat it was mainly that Lily had a good four inches on Marlene and Marlene had the upper body strength of a sparrow.

On the third attempt she managed to pick her up but then realised she was going to have to carry her a bit so they were out of the anti-apparition zone. With surprising strength and speed, Marlene got herself and Lily to the centre of Hogsmeade in record time.

She didn't know where she should be going. If she had been thinking clearly and not panicking as she was now she would have taken her to St. Mungo's but instead she apparated to the place where she felt naturally safe.

Sirius' flat.

She apparated into the lounge and found nobody was there. As sudden as it came her strength left her and she fell to her knees and Lily to the floor. With a thwack of her knees and Lily's back rousing the boys she heard footsteps. And then the three marauders appeared in the lounge seeing the scene of their very dishevelled looking friend. And James' wife who looked close to death.

James' eyes widened and he felt his throat and heart tighten.

"Lily…"

**AN** Sorry kind of depressing yeah?

Well it will get cheerier :D but then sad again  Awwwh well get over it :P:P

Please review. If you've got this far you may aswell right?

Caru ti

Cymru01xxxoooxxx


	4. Chapter 4

Love Is The Drug

Chapter 4

From that point onwards everything had gone by in a chaotic blur.

Somehow they had managed to get to St. Mungos amongst the hysteria that was now crammed in Sirius' small flat. Marlene was crying, Sirius was muttering curse words to himself and pulling at his hair and Remus was just staring wide-eyed at Lily's seemingly lifeless body.

Surprisingly enough it was James who had taken charge. His natural leadership skills combined with his love for Lily giving him all the strength he needed.

Once they had arrived at St. Mungos Lily had been seen to straight away and taken to a secluded private room while they had to wait in the clinical waiting room.

It had been all night and all four friends had settled into different positions throughout the room and at seven a.m. they were all fast asleep. James was sitting upright in the old, tattered armchair, his arms crossed over his chest and a pensive look upon his face due to the many horrible dreams he was currently having, all of which involving him running through a field after Lily who was carrying a bundle in her arms. No matter how much he called for to stop she wouldn't, all he could see was her long, auburn hair bouncing against her back as she ran. The sun was shining but then at the worst part of the dream James saw black clouds coming towards Lily but never reaching him. He screamed at her to stop but the black clouds were getting lower and lower until Lily was lost in black fog.

Meanwhile, Remus had settled into a position where his legs were half on, half off the tatty sofa. His shirt had come un-tucked and he had his head lolling back with his mouth open in what would usually be an unattractive way. Somehow Remus made it seem cute. Further down the same sofa Sirius lay with one foot up on the coffee table and one arm around a peaceful Marlene. Every now and again Sirius would mutter something under his breath – probably something that shouldn't be uttered at the pre-watershed hour of seven a.m.

James had once again got to the part where Lily was engulfed in the black fog but this time she turned to face him. She dropped the bundle and the wind caught her hair blowing it wildly. She looked like some sort of Greek goddess. Just as the fog was about to claim her she reached out with her left hand to James. Her wedding ring fell off her ring finger in what seemed like slow motion.

"James, save her…"

James woke with a start. He got a painful crick in his neck and his glasses had fallen off and smashed on the ground. Both light sleepers, Marlene and Remus both jolted awake.

"Shit," James went on his hands and knees and started searching for his now broken glasses. Remus rubbed his eyes blearily and got down to his own knees to help James. Marlene stretched her arms above her head with Sirius' arm still around her. She glanced at her watch, which she was now sick of looking at, she was thinking of binning the god-forsaken watch as soon as she got home. It read seven a.m. Shouldn't someone have come to see them about Lily by now?

"Sirius?" She nudged him slightly to try and bring him out of his deep sleep. Remus was currently repairing James' glasses as James stretched and squinted at Sirius and Marlene.

"Shamus…listen t'me…jackass…" Sirius mumbled in-coherently and Marlene looked at him puzzled. Who the hell was Shamus?

"Sirius come on, wake up."

"Lazy…why…I bother… gonna kick your ass…" Marlene guffawed to herself, whoever the hell Shamus was apparently he was going to get an ass kicking. She pushed him roughly and he fell off the sofa with a loud thump.

"SHA…" Sirius looked around, obviously still wondering if he was asleep. He soon realised he wasn't when he saw his friends amused faces around him.

"Allright guys?" He flashed them all a grin as he got to his feet and dusted himself off because of the imaginary dust.

"You're so weird sometimes man," James patted him on the shoulder as he made his way to the door. The rest followed but just as they were about to open it a petite blonde nurse came bustling in.

"Finally! You're all awake! Mrs Potter said not to wake you all, let you sleep so we complied with her wishes but of course we wanted to wake you but you know the patient gets what the patient wa-"

"Is she okay?" James was fed up of her babble; he really didn't need it right now. Lily was awake. Lily was awake and nobody had told him? Nobody had actually even told him what was going on when they brought her in either; it was ridiculous.

"Mr Potter I am only authorised to tell her family how she is and what was wrong with her so if your friends would like to leave …" she moved slightly and gestured towards the door but always keeping her adoring eyes on James' face. He was in the media eye after all and not many days did you get to deal with virtual celebrities in St. Mungos.

"No they can stay,"

"Mr. Potter it's not a matter of if you want them to stay it's that i'm not aloud to tell them." James looked towards his friends but then Marlene spoke up.

"We are family," The fact she was telling a technical lie was not evident on her face whatsoever. Confidence rang in her melodious voice. "I'm Lily's sister," She gestured to Remus, "he is our brother." She gestured to Sirius, "and this is our uncle." Sirius looked at her with confused eyes.

"Uncle?" She elbowed his ribs harshly "yes uncle! I am her uncle Sirius." He was glaring at the side of Marlene's head as she smirked to herself. All the time the nurse hadn't even looked at them so she didn't really notice how the three friends were now trying to stop themselves from laughing.

"So how is she?" James was now growing tired of this, he needed to know what was wrong and how she was right now. The nurse sighed at his concern, she obviously wasn't going to be able to lead him astray from his wife.

"Well, when you brought her in she was suffering from a mild case of pneumonia. I assume you all know that she is pregnant?" She looked at them all in turn.

""Is"? As in she still is?" James eyes were swimming with emotions that he wasn't sure of. Was it hope? Was it fear? He didn't know, but he did know that he needed to know if his child was alive.

"When she came in she showed all signs of miscarrying. We were sure that she must have miscarried. But after tests had been done we saw that the baby actually has a heart beat. It is still alive. It truly is a miracle Mr. Potter; by all means your child should be dead. Very few babies in the first trimester that have been under that sort of stress survive. That baby obviously wants to come into this world." The nurse gave James a small smile but the look on James' face was unreadable. "Well she's awake right now, and you can all go see her if you want. The only other problem really is that she fractured her shoulder. But that has been sorted out with potions along with the pneumonia." She paused to see if any of them had any questions. They all seemed to have dumbfounded looks on their faces. "If you would like to follow me then." She walked out of the door with the three marauders and Marlene in her wake.

* * *

Lily lay in the hospital bed staring out of the window. It was silent. Not a sound could be heard. A perk of being married to James Potter was that she got a private room automatically. But she almost wished she had other people around her. She hated hospitals at the best of times, and right now her thoughts were so busy and there was nothing to interrupt her. She shifted and the sound disturbed the whole room. She really hated this silence. Maybe that's why she had a tendency to get into shouting fights with people. She hated the silence between people when they were disappointed. Why wouldn't they just shout at her?

That's what the silence was. Disappointment. She almost felt as if the room was judging her.

The healer had told her that her baby was okay. He had smiled and looked smug with himself even though he had done nothing. She had forced a smile, but really she was wondering if it was a good thing that the baby had survived. James might leave her because of this baby, she was already sure her father wasn't going to take it too well, and more than anything she now had yet another person to fear losing in this war.

She began tapping a tune with her fingers on the mattress. Hospitals really did make her uneasy. She hadn't really been in one since her mother had died of breast cancer when Lily was fourteen. That was most probably the reason for her sense of dread she had right now. She felt suddenly really warm and the collar of her gown felt tight. She pulled slightly at the collar of her gown while she absentmindedly put her hand on her belly. So wrapped up in her own discomfort and thoughts of her mother she didn't even realise when door opened and James and her friends walked in.

"Lily!" Marlene's cry awakened her from her dreamlike state as her best friend pounced on her. "You had me so worried!" She hit her arm lightly to illustrate her anger, which really didn't show in her voice. "You looked awful, I-I thought we were going to lose you." Marlene had begun to cry so Lily held her close and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Yeah Lils it's true, you looked bloody terrible. You're always a right drama queen aren't ya?" Sirius teased her lightly and ruffled the top of her hair brotherly as Marlene continued to cling on to her as if she would disappear. Remus came to the other side of the bed and leaned over to lightly kiss her cheek and gave her a smile, which spoke a thousand words. James however stayed firmly by the door. His hand still resting on the handle. Lily looked at him and they finally made eye contact. It was as if nothing in the world existed but those two in that moment. Lily didn't feel Sirius gently pry Marlene away from her and Remus helping him usher her outside despite her complaints. It was just the two of them. The way it had always seemed to them both. As long as they were both together in a room nobody else mattered. Lily finally regained a little control over herself. That moment reminded her of how much she loved James and couldn't let him go. She had to talk about this with now.

"James, please can we talk about this?" Her voice sounded fragile and small, so unlike her usual voice which demanded attention but this is what this man left her as. A pile of mush.

As soon as she had said these words James had crossed the room in a surprisingly small amount of strides and he took a seat on the bed next to her. Now that he was up close Lily could see that he was crying. Single teardrops clung to his long eyelashes and his breathing was ragged as he gulped for no reason. His hand cupped her face gently and caressed softly. As if he was checking for any marks on his beloved. With one hand still cupping her cheek his other glided painfully slowly down her arm to her own hand and he placed his on top of hers and then guided their hands to her abdomen. A place where she had recently placed her hand a lot, But with James' on hers it was different. It spoke a thousand words. She gave him a watery smile and he returned it by bringing her face towards hers and capturing her lips in the sweetest kiss. It was reminiscent of their wedding day, they felt as though they had just had a significant moment and as her lips melted into his and they moved to their own time then they were sealing it. But the kiss remained innocent, no mouths were opened. The love they felt pouring between each other was enough to make that one of the most passionate moments of both of their lives.

As they finally broke apart, both a little short of breath, they leaned their foreheads together and smiled manically at one another. They had just made something official.

Today was the day they truly became a family.

**AN **Okay so it was a little short, but that is because next chapter is going to be a long one.

I went to clarify okay for anybody who read the whole Sirius and sleep talking about Shamus thing and were thinking what the hell is this rubbish? It was based on real events from my brother when my friend came around the other day. He fell asleep when he was watching TV and we were about to go up to bed so I tried waking him up and that was what he said to me. Exactly what Sirius said. At the time my friend and me found it hilarious! In hindsight it might have been one of those things where you have to be there, but all the same it was really, really funny. Sorry it was a bit of self –indulgence I guess :P:P:P

Thank you soooo much everybody who has reviewed so far! I can't even begin to say how much I love you for it ;D

Keep on reviewing!!

Caru Cymru01xxxoooxxx


	5. Chapter 5

Love is The Drug

Chapter 5

Lily was released later that day.

James had taken her back to their flat and the rest of the guys said that they were going back to theirs, to give them some "alone time." James had helped her through the door, even though she didn't need it. Insisted that she lie down in bed or on the sofa and put her feet up, even though she didn't want to. And had even made her approximately twenty cups of tea, even though she hated the stuff. She was more of a coffee drinker.

She had gone and sat at a small desk table they had by the window in the living area and was currently writing a letter. James grabbed a chair and slickly swung it so it was facing the wrong way and sat with his legs either side. He put his chin in his hands mock lovingly and continued to stare at her. Waiting for a response.

She could feel his gaze on the side of her head and it was becoming very irritating very quickly. Not known for her good patience Lily stopped writing abruptly and turned to look at him.

"What?" her voice sounded not dissimilar to Professor McGonagall when she used such a sharp and clipped tone. Enjoying the normality that was slowly returning James decided to wind her up a bit.

"Nothin'," his dreamy voice and his silly expression annoyed Lily to the point where she felt she had to kiss it off of his face. Of course she didn't. Actually, when she thought about it a kiss might prolong the expression or make it worse if possible. She heaved a sigh then turned back to her letter. She picked up her quill and just as she touched the parchment he spoke up again.

"What'cha doing?" He said it in a singsong voice and Lily then realised that he was doing this on purpose. He wasn't just happy to see her. She chuckled under her breath.

"Okay you win, now stop being so pathetic! I want my husband back!" She stuck out her bottom lip at him in a pout and he relented and threw her a cheeky grin.

"Yay!! Who are you writing to anyway?"

"Alice," this time Lily sighed not out of exasperation but out of longing.

Alice Prewett had been her best friend along with Marlene all throughout their Hogwarts years. If anything Alice and Lily had been closer than Alice and Marlene or Lily and Marlene. But in fifth year Alice had fallen for Frank Longbottom. He was a Hufflepuff who had all the qualities to be in Gryffindor too. Since fifth year they had been blissfully in love and as soon as school had cut out they had gone travelling. They travelled around Europe for the first three months and had then gone to America for the fourth month. They loved Chicago so much that they had stayed there ever since. As more and more time passed it looked more and more likely that Alice and Frank would be staying in America for a long time.

"Alice? Have you told her about James Junior yet?" Lily laughed at how sure he sounded.

"How do you know I have a little man inside of me? It could be a baby girl."

"Yeah, but I'm James Potter – I'm always right. Plus if it's a girl it's going to get picked on mercilessly for being called James."

"We aren't calling it James even if it's a boy!"

"Whatever you say dear."

"You really are infuriating sometimes James, I often wonder why I love you." Words that could have been hurtful were said with a laugh from Lily so James knew she was only teasing. "And to answer your question, no she doesn't know yet. That's what that letter is all about. I mean I can't tell everybody but her can I? Even though I think we should keep it quiet to everyone else for the time being." She looked at him for his opinion on the matter.

"Agreed. Imagine the press if they found out. They would have a seizure of happiness!"

"A seizure of happiness James? Anyway, I was thinking about how weird it is that if Alice was still here she would have been the first person I told but now she is one of the last to know." Lily was staring gloomily into space a glint of nostalgia in the corner of her eye. While they were on the topic James thought he better bring up the topic of her father.

"Talking about telling people, have you thought about your father?" Lily turned to look at him and she bit her bottom lip in thought. However inappropriate the moment James couldn't help but admire her perfectly formed pearly whites and her luscious red lips.

"Well tomorrow night I have to go to dinner over there haven't I? Petunia is bringing around her boyfriend for dad to meet and we all have to be there. Dan and Sean too. What do you think? Tomorrow? Is that too soon?" She looked at him with slight desperation. He leant over and took one her hands in his own and rubbed patterns on the top.

"Well, honestly I think you should tell him now because the longer you leave it the harder it's going to be. I can come with you if you want?"

"You're right, I have to do it now. No, I think this is something I have to do on my own." She smiled at him gratefully if she didn't have him she sometimes wonders if she would ever make any decisions. He brought her hand up to his lips and placed a light kiss on it.

"I love you mind," he nodded his head with his words to illustrate his point. She laughed at his silliness.

"I love you too, I don't know why but I do."

She gave him a wink and then pulled her hand away softly and got back to writing her letter.

* * *

Lily sat to her fathers' left at the dining table. Next to her was her brother Sean and then Petunias' boyfriend, Vernon. Across from Sean was his twin brother Dan, they were twenty-two now but their father had forced them to come to dinner as Petunia was so dead set on Vernon being "the one." Petunia was sat on her fathers' right despite her wish to sit closer to Vernon. Sean and Dan had insisted that they needed to do their brotherly duty of interrogating Vernon. Really, they were just teasing him incessantly and being generally sarcastic. As was in their nature.

"So tell me what was it that you said you were working in?" Sean asked with mock interest his hand stroking his chin as if in thought.

"Banking! Yes banking! My manager said that I really do have potential. I heard that you are currently unemployed Dan, I suppose I could ask around see what is available if you want?" Vernon sounded so boastful in his tone, not at all shy as he shovelled down his 4th helping of Shepard's pie. Petunia nodded enthusiastically at her boyfriend, grinning like a maniac.

"Actually Vernon my man, I am Dan" Dan said gesturing towards himself. "But Sean is the unemployed one." He grinned across the table at his brother who put down his chin and pursed his lips at him.

"For the last time Dan! I am not unemployed, I am just currently in between jobs."

"Well why don't you take up Verny's offer then?" Dan gestured to Vernon with his fork and Vernon gulped.

"Actually it's Vernon, not Vern-"

"Maybe I don't want some boring desk job like banking where you grow old wishing you had more from life. But I hope the banking thing works out for you though Verny!" At his last sentence Sean looked back at Vernon and gave him a fake grin.

"It's not Verny…" Vernon muttered under his breath before once again digging in.

The night passed much in the same fashion. The two redhead twins would bicker and include Vernon, asking his opinion and making him suitably uncomfortable when they asked how far he had gone with their little sister. This was the point where Graham, Lily's father, had announced that maybe it was time that Vernon should leave. Through the entire evening Lily had mainly stared off into space, anticipating what she had to do. Now and again she had chuckled softly at one of her brothers' jokes or rolled her eyes at the way Petunia gazed lovingly at Vernon and laughed insanely at his terrible attempts at jokes. Her father had nudged her a few times and had mouthed to her if she was okay. She would just nod her head and resume her staring. It was killing her now that she was here. She needed to tell them. Not when Vernon was there obviously but she needed to tell them tonight.

Petunia was just showing Vernon to the door. Sean and Dan made "kissy-kissy" noises and made them loud enough so they were sure that Petunia and Vernon could hear them.

She stormed back in, a look of fury on her face.

"What is wrong with the both of you?! Vernon was being a perfect gentleman all evening and all you were doing was trying to ruin it all! I mean even the freak didn't say anything horrid to him-" Dan held up a hand to stop her, a sudden serious look on his face.

"Thin ice Tuney, thin ice."

"Whatever, but seriously why did you have to be so awful!" she sulked back to her seat and plonked herself down. Blowing her mousy brown hair out of her face as she crossed her arms over her chest and sulked. At this moment somebody could have mistaken the twenty year old for a five year old. She looked over at Lily's dinner that she had only pushed around the plate, not really feeling in the mood for eating. Sean and Dan continued to laugh at the many different aspects of Vernon that were humorous.

"What's wrong with the food Lillian? You hardly ate a thing!" Petunia said in a rage filled voice. Lily cringed at the use of her full name as her mother used to do a lot. She was about to reply when Petunia turned on Sean who had just been talking about how Vernon looked like a Walrus.

"For God's sake Sean! He does not look like a walrus!"

"Petunia, my dear sister! You are blinded by the supposed love! He looks so much like a walrus it is actually quite scary. Don't you agree dad?" Sean looked to his father who was smiling to himself and shaking his head at his children's antics.

"It's not really for me to say son! What do you think Lils? Does he or does he not look like a walrus?" He turned to his youngest child and asked her with a laugh in his voice. She had resumed staring into space and when she heard her voice mentioned it took her a minute to respond.

"Huh? Oh, um, I don't really…" she trailed off after stuttering the beginning of her sentence and making herself sound like a fool.

"Yeah Lil, what did you think of Vermin?" this time the question was asked by Dan, but as soon as he had said Vermin Sean had let out a bark of laughter somewhat similar to Sirius' laugh.

"Vermin? HA! I knew there was a reason I hung out with you bro!"

The two brothers laughed while Petunia was sitting shaking her head at them disbelievingly. Her father was watching them all with pure love in his eyes. For some reason Lily knew this was the moment. She hadn't really planned what she was going to say. She took a deep breath and exhaled before speaking.

"I'm pregnant." It was a short sentence but her voice was loud and clear, the silence that followed her admission was deafening.

All of her family were gaping at her. She took the serviette she had placed on her lap and folded it next to her plate. She stood up and pushed her chair underneath the table.

"Thank you for dinner Tuney, it was lovely. I'm going to my room now."

And with that she left the dining room and ascended the stairs. She was shaking all over and she was terrified to look back at her fathers' face.

* * *

She had been sat on the edge of her bed facing the door for the past five minutes, waiting for whoever it was that was to come first. She heard the floorboard on the landing creak and then the door opened.

It was her dad.

He shut the door behind him and began pacing the floor in front of her. He was refusing to make eye contact with her, which made Lily stare at the floor blinking desperately to stop the tears that were welling up from falling. He halted and started walking several times as if trying to muster up words. Lily wasn't sure how long they had sat in silence but she was quickly getting tired of it. She stood up so that she was standing in front of him.

"How about I start this for you. You're very disappointed in me, you thought I was more sensible than this," she couldn't help the sarcasm and tiredness that crept into her voice. He stopped pacing and for the first time since entering the room faced her and made eye contact. His eyes were fierce. They were emerald just like hers and they were blazing. She gasped at the anger she saw there and sat back down on the bed.

"Damn right I'm disappointed in you Lily! How could you have been so stupid?"

She sensed she shouldn't reply so just stared at him shaking slightly. She hated it when he got this angry and the anger she saw there was the worst she had seen it since her mother had died and he had blamed the doctors.

"I already knew it was a bad idea for you to get married straight after you had finished school! But I told you my peace and your brothers convinced me I just had to let you live your life. But I let you and you do this!! You get pregnant and you're only eighteen! You have so much ahead of you yet you are just limiting yourself! How do you actually expect to support yourself Lily? Both you and James don't have a job! How are you going to be able to provide a stable environment for a baby when you are going to be constantly worried about money? God! Lily I thought you were more clever than this! If your mother was alive now she would be absolutely horrified!" Lily had sat back and taken everything up until to this point but she couldn't when he said that.

"How can you say that dad? How the fuck can you say she would be horrified?! She would have been shocked yeah, but never horrified! Mum would have supported me! She would have supported me in everything that I decided to do and you know it! It really, really hurts when you say stuff like that dad. And James and I are not unemployed. I've already told you, there wasn't any room in auror training so we're starting next September instead. WE have been working in admin. at the Ministry for money and you know that we have the Order to contend with as well!"

"Oh! The Order! That's the organisation where you all meet up and go on missions trying to stop this war that's in your world right? Well, what a great environment for your baby to grow up in! Watching everyone who gets close to it die! Risking having it's mother or father die or perhaps even both of you! Lily can't you see how selfish this is of you? You are only having this baby to make yourself feel like you are doing the right thing, you know settling down. You're married, you have a baby on the way – you're trying to make yourself a new family! Lily I get that you want to make a family but not yet! You can't at the moment! Think about it! What you said about auror training, you won't be able to join in September I mean how far gone are you? A month? You will be eight months pregnant for god's sake! And believe me Lily, if your mother was around today she wouldn't just sit back – she would have her say in all of this."

"But she isn't!! When are you going to get that!? She's been dead for four years dad, FOUR YEARS! When are you going to start getting over it and start treating me the same again?! Is it because I remind you of her? Dad, I really need you right now! Please you need to get over this goddamn disappointment because I don't think I can do this unless I have your support!" Lily looked at her father pleadingly. Her eyes were glistening she knew that, but she would not let those tears fall. She thought for a second she saw his steely eyes soften but then they were steely once more.

"Disappointment doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling about you right now. I can't even look at you anymore." And with that he left the room. She knew he didn't really mean it. It was because she had struck a nerve with the topic of her mother but it still hurt beyond words. She lay herself down on her bed and rested her head face down into the pillow where she finally opened the floodgate and let the tears fall without constraint. She cried and she cried.

Sean and Dan came to her door, Petunia followed behind them. Sean knocked softly on the door.

"Hey 'lil sis? It's uncle Seany!" he said in a hushed voice while he mock tiptoed over to her. He took a seat on the bed next to her and patted a hand on her back. Dan took a seat the other side of her and placed a hand on her back too. Petunia stayed firmly by the door.

"Go away!" Lily's muffled demand came from the pillow but her two brothers took no notice.

"Sean, if it's a girl do you think it will have red-hair like her uncles?" Dan asked Sean with a huge grin on his face. Lily leaned up on her elbows and turned her head to look at them.

"Pffft! What do you mean _if_ it's a girl? Of course it will be a girl! And yeah she'll have our wonderful hair. It would be a damn shame though if poor little Sinead got her father's messy black hair." Sean shuddered and Dan nodded his head and laughed.

"Sinead? No man, it will be Dana, of course. Or maybe they can carry on the whole flower trend! Either way I don't mind," at this point he turned to look at his baby sister. "I won't mind because it will still be our little niece or nephew and I for one will love him or her unconditionally." Petunia then decided to say her piece.

"I suppose that I, as solitary Auntie, will have to be there to help you with him or her as much as possible too." She looked at her nails as she walked closer to the bed and ended up taking a seat next to Dan. "And I guess it will be kind of cool to have a little niece or nephew, maybe I can spoil him or her a bit." At this Lily felt overwhelmed, she hadn't heard Petunia say something so nice or heartfelt to her since they were ten years old. Lily sat up and grabbed all three of them in a huge hug.

She let tears fall and sobbed wholeheartedly, but this time out of love for her siblings. Dan and Sean rubbed her back and made cooing noises in her ears. She laughed at them and then felt Petunia place a soft kiss to her temple.

She knew in this moment that she and James had done the right thing in keeping this baby. No matter what her father said. She would let him come around on his own. At least she thought that would work anyway – she couldn't be sure of it though. But there was one thing she knew she could most definitely be sure of.

This baby was going to be so loved.

AN So a bit longer than the other chapters.

What did you think? Did you feel that Lily and the baby being fine were a bit of a cop out? I hope not but I can see how you might think that.

What did you think of the pure fluff at the end eh? I'm not a very fluffy person but I felt the need to add some there.

I really enjoyed writing this chapter. And the whole thing with Lily's mother is quite close to home for me as I lost my mother to breast cancer just a couple of months ago so I felt the need to put in somewhere about her own mother dying of that. I don't know why, maybe it's my way of trying to get into Lily's shoes.

As always hope you enjoyed and thanks to everyone who has been reviewing.

Keep on doing it! I am a regular review whore now :P:P

Caru Cymru01xxxoooxxx


	6. Chapter 6

**AN **Thank you so, so much to everyone who has reviewed. I honestly do love you for it.

I really meant to have this up on Monday but I got distracted and then on Tuesday I was totally overloaded with work so I didn't have a chance. Anyway I don't need to justify myself so I will shush up now :p

You will get the next update fairly soon though hopefully. Maybe tomorrow night if I have a chance. Most probably Friday though.

Anyways, enjoy!

Love Is The Drug

Chapter 6

It had been a month, a whole moth since Lily had gone to her Fathers' house. She hadn't spoken to her father, Petunia and Sean since that night. Dan had written to her but Sean didn't have the attention span to sit and pen a letter. James told her that they just needed to give it time and to have patience. He should know his wife better than to tell her to rely on her patience surely.

It was early on a Saturday morning and Lily was dead to the world, snoring softly. James, however, was lying on his back staring straight up at the ceiling. He had had that dream again. The same dream he had had at the hospital. It was becoming a recurring dream, but it would always end with Lily reaching out to him and him waking up in a cold sweat. His gaze wandered lazily to his wife sprawled on her back one arm crossed over her chest in an awkward angle. Even though she had spit slowly drifting from the corner of her mouth and her hair was in knots all around her head, he thought she had never looked more beautiful. He loved to watch her when she was sleeping, or when she didn't know he was looking. It kind of took him back to their days in Hogwarts when she still wouldn't give him the time of day. So he would just stare at her endlessly just hoping that she may turn to stare back at him – thus causing their love to finally be allowed to blossom. But whenever she did look around at him when he had been staring he would quickly pretend he had been looking at something else and blush deeply. Really, it was hardly surprising that it was Lily who actually got them together.

At the beginning of their seventh year James had been staring at Lily doing her charms essay when she had finally turned around and made direct eye contact with him. He had been unable to look away. He had always known that her eyes were beautiful but this was the first time he had ever been allowed to look directly into them. He had been in the routine of asking her out daily since 5th year but just before the summer holidays he made a resolution to no longer ask her out constantly. She had walked over to him and saucily asked when it was that he was going to finally ask her out again, because you never know maybe this time her answer would be different. Then she had winked and left him. That was the beginning of it all. At that point never did he think he would be here a year and half later. Staring at Lily, his wife, as she slept peacefully awaiting the arrival of their first child.

He looked at the muggle alarm Lily had put on her bedside table and saw it read nine 'o' clock already. He had no idea he had spent so long in his own thoughts.

Lily had been up at midnight last night with her morning sickness that didn't know the time of day. She had been absolutely shattered when she finally got to bed. He carefully got out of bed so as not to disturb her and then stealthily left the room. He set to work making an omelette, his speciality. Remus, Sirius and Marlene would be over soon for their breakfast as the tradition went. Lily always used to make it but since the sickness had kicked in James had taken over. He and Lily had no work today but Sirius and Marlene had training. James was still a little bummed they hadn't sent in their applications soon enough but it seemed that things were working out for the best. Remus had been working in a small apothecary store selling different potions ingredients in Hogsmeade so it was close-by for him to go from James and Lily's flat.

Lily had had to stay off work the day before she had been so exhausted from her nausea. This left James with a few awkward questions amongst his colleagues. Nobody apart from family and close friends knew of the pregnancy yet. They didn't want to jinx stuff for one. You had to wait 'til three months to be sure that the baby would really be okay. Also, if the press found out that _the_ James Potter, heir to the Potter fortune, was actually expecting a child they would go ballistic. Even more importantly, if it got out to everybody that Lily and James were to have a child then it would of course get around to Lord Voldemort and his followers. This is when their trouble would really begin. Right now they were just buying themselves time.

Lily was an amazing cook. James would watch in awe as she made an entire cake by scratch or cooked him foods from around the world. House elves surely weren't as good as Lily. He hadn't been unable to make anything but the one thing that he could make was a mean omelette.

The front door burst open as Sirius fell inside, clutching his sides and breathing heavily.

"I," gasp, "won," gasp, "Moony!" Sirius then collapsed in a heap on the floor as James watched with bemusement. Remus walked in calmly and swiftly stepped around him.

"If you had actually been listening to me padfoot you would have heard me say, "no Sirius, I am not bloody running with you."" Remus walked the short distance to the breakfast counter and sat down. "Got the Prophet yet prongs?" James laughed at his best mate and walked past him and clapped him on the shoulder as he went to go help Sirius up.

"No, not yet mate. It usually comes the same time as the other owl with our mail. You will know when that comes mind, its like Lily has a radar and she jumps to attention every time it arrives." He pulled Sirius to his feet and sat him down on their sofa.

"She's still not heard back from Alice yet?" Sirius looked at James incredulously. It really was shocking that Alice, Lily's so-called best friend, still hadn't replied to the letter sent a month ago telling her of Lily's pregnancy. Lily pretended she didn't really care after she saw there was yet again no word from Alice but James could tell that it was hurting her. For this reason James was totally pissed at Alice and Frank.

"Yup, it's freaking ridiculous. Some best friend she is. It's getting her really down, well that and the fact I think she' kind of worried about Sean. I think she thinks he's angry with her too because he's not talked to her for so long but he's just lazy." James chuckled softly to himself; he really did like Lily's brothers.

"Sean? Is he the womaniser, kind of me-ish twin? Or is he the male version of Lily?" Sirius asked with a genuinely interested look upon his flushed from exercise face. James gaped at him and Remus laughed from his seat.

"What?! Sirius man, Dan isn't the male equivalent to Lily." James thought he said it with a final tone and went back to his kitchen to keep on making the omelette, which had been left forgotten. Unfortunately though, Sirius followed him with a newfound energy again.

"Nope! You are in denial my man. He is exactly like her! From the auburn hair to her little quirky sense of humour! Trust me man, if you ever lost Lily, Merlin forbid, then Dan would be the closest thing to her for you to shag." He crossed his arms over his chest triumphantly and shot James a cheeky half smirk. Remus in them mean time had begun laughing mirthfully at his best mates.

"What. The. Hell man! The closest thing to my wife for me to shag is a guy? If it was going to be anybody shouldn't it at least be like a woman, like her sister or something?"

"Oh Merlin! You want to shag Petunia? That is sick James! She looks like a praying mantis!" Sirius had started to go a little pale and was backing away from James.

"Don't be an idiot Sirius." The voice of authority came from Remus. Sirius looked at Remus and shrugged before sitting himself down in the only other seat at the breakfast table next to Remus.

"So what's cooking good looking?"

"Omelette mate. It's ready actually. Where's Marlene by the way?" James started dishing some omelette on to a plate for Sirius as he watched hungrily. James had to ask him again as he had been to engrossed in the making of his breakfast.

"Oh Marly? Some old lady saw us on our way and she got talking to her. Plus she has all our training equipment that will slow her down no doubt. Heavy buggers those bags are."

"You left her with the heavy bags?" Sirius nodded absentmindedly. "You truly are an idiot mate."

Just at that moment Marlene trudged inside. Huge bags on each of arms. Her face was red and she was breathing erratically. A pure look of anger on her face.

"Why the hell did you just leave me there you pair of useless tossers!?" She practically screamed at Remus and Sirius but James started frantically shushing her and holding a finger to his lips.

"Lily's asleep woman! If she wakes up because of us it's going to be me who gets grouchy Lily for the rest of the day so shush yeah?" Marlene nodded her head guiltily before grabbing her own omelette and sitting herself down on the arm of the sofa.

They all chatted about trivial stuff that in the long term didn't matter but still kept them amused. They heard a screech of owls from the open window when two barn owls swooped into the flat. They heard a bump followed by fast footsteps come from Lily and James' room. James smiled as he watched his wife emerge from their bedroom skidding along the floor in her socks as she got to the owls. All she saw though was an envelope with Dan's handwriting and a rolled up edition of today's Daily Prophet. She sighed and took some money from the table to her left and gave it to the Daily prophet owl.

"Morning guys," Lily sighed defeated, and walked over to the breakfast counter where everybody was currently congregated. She put the newspaper on the table and went and gave her husband a hug. Marlene looked at her sadly. She doubted that she would get that upset if it was her who hadn't written and not Alice. She then pushed this thought to the back of her head and reprimanded herself for being so childish. James stroked her side softy as he pulled her in for a one armed hug and he kissed her forehead. Throughout all of this Sirius had been transfixed at one thing and one thing only. Lily's' breast's.

"I don't want to sound crude Lil," Lily snorted, "but is it just me or have your, uh, assets grown considerably since my last visit?" He was still staring transfixed at them. Lily's head shot up off of James chest quickly and furrowed her eyebrows at Sirius.

"My boobs?" Sirius nodded distractedly still keeping his focus on said boobs. "I don't know I hadn't really noticed." She looked down at her chest and noticed her cleavage was actually much larger than she remembered she jumped very slowly on the spot and saw that she definitely had more there to bounce. She was amazed how they had actually grown so quickly. Lily was broken out of her examination of her chest by a cough and then James' unusually squeaky voice.

"Allrighty! How about you go get a dressing gown on sweets. Anybody want more omelette?" James quickly pulled away from Lily and turned around to face the cooker. Lily made her way to the bedroom and exchanged a smirk and quiet giggle with Marlene. Shifting in his seat slightly Remus reached for the Prophet and unrolled it. Marlene broke the silence by laughing at them all.

"Even now! I would have thought you would all have learned how to not be controlled by your hormones!" She smiled at her three best guy friends in the world.

"Uh, guys?" Sirius who had taken this opportunity to shoot a come back at Marlene overshadowed Remus' voice.

"Hey! We are not controlled by our emotions. We were all simply overwhelmed to see a little, er, evidence of Lily and James' baby growing inside of Lils! We all know that Breasts enlarge during pregnancy after all. Aint that right prongsie?" Sirius smiled cockily at Marlene.

"Guys?" Once again Remus was ignored.

"Oh, yeah! Totally padfoot. I think it's great that we can now see some "evidence" as my dear old friend Sirius put it. I mean if it means my wife goes up a few cup sizes for me to see she's pregnant then by Merlin! I think I can put up with that!" James held a hand to his heart in mocking bravery. Sirius pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.

"Guys!"

"You truly are an inspiration to us all Jamie!"

"GUYS!!" Remus was now up standing looking at them all incredulously. Seeing that he now had their full attention he held up the Prophet to reveal the headline to them all.

"_Young Potters To Be Proud Parents!"_

"It's out…" James breathed out huskily. They had been doing so well. He grabbed the paper and was about to read to himself when he saw Lily walk back in, now fully dressed.

"What's going on? I heard shouting." She had a look of concern and confusion on her face but when she saw that James had the Prophet in his hands she knew what it was. "It's come out?" James only nodded as reply. Lily took a breath and ran her hand through her now brushed hair. "Give it here."

James passed his wife the newspaper and she scanned over it quickly and shook her head disbelievingly before beginning to read out loud.

" "_It has just emerged that our favourite couple is actually expecting! Of course the couple we are talking about is James and Lily Potter. Last night an insider at St. Mungo's told us of the hush-hush pregnancy and James' dismay! Not long ago did Lily have a bit of an accident and she had to be admitted to the hospital. It is said that this visit was the first time James found out about the pregnancy and our insider was the one to tell him. Along with him were Lily's two siblings and elderly uncle. She said his eyes said that he was trapped. This is exactly what we think is happening. Money hungry Lily Potter nee. Evans has only just married our beloved heir and now she's gotten pregnant by him too? In a time like this it's not really the wisest thing to be having a child. However if Lily and James' marriage really is on he rocks like reports suggest then could this be her way of holding on to her husband?_" Oh my God! What a load of bull!" Lily slammed down the paper on to the kitchen table and then proceeded to start pacing back and forth her head in her hands. James walked over to her and stilled her pacing by wrapping his arms around her and gently rubbing circles in the small of her back. Marlene was reading the report herself her eyes furiously going back and forth along the page.

"What gives them the right?! How dare they say this about you Lils! They're basically calling you a gold-digging whore!" Marlene's legendary temper was starting to seethe out. Lil turned so that her cheek was leaning against her husbands' chest so that she could face Marlene.

"I know! I mean the only bit in it that is true really is me being pregnant! I don't even fucking have an elderly uncle!" She exclaimed raising a hand to emphasise her point. At this point Sirius stuck up his hand and glared at Marlene.

"Yes, the _"elderly uncle" _was I. I knew that was going to come back and haunt me. I can't believe you did that Marly." He continued to glare at Marlene. Lily muttered something that only James was close enough to hear and walked off to the bedroom slamming the door behind her. James turned on Sirius. He looked furious.

"Sirius, the fact you were referred to as an elderly uncle doesn't really matter right now. What really matters is that from this day on my child's life is in danger. It isn't even 3 months old yet but from today we are going to have death eaters after it. I honestly think you need to try and grow up right now and look around at what your supposed "best-friends" are going to be going through from now on. Don't be so selfish Sirius." His voice shaking with rage James stormed off and followed his wife's lead and went to the bedroom, slamming the door. Sirius sat in shock. He didn't mean for James to go off on him like that. He was only joking around. Marlene came and put her hand softly on his shoulder. He looked up at her face, which held a beautifully sad smile.

"Don't take it to heart too much. He's just upset and taking it out on whoever he can." She brushed a strand of hair from his forehead and then took his hand pulling him up. "Come on, we're going to be late. Be a dear and take the bags this time." She flung him the two bags with surprising ease as Sirius staggered under their weight. "See you Remus!" They both left the flat and shut the door behind him.

Remus looked around at the unwashed dishes and the newspaper on the counter. All he could hear was some soft crying coming from Lily and James room. Remus sighed and walked to the cupboard to grab himself some pumpkin juice. He poured himself a glass and took a sip. Looking into the orange liquid he swirled it and sighed once again.

"Alone again."

* * *

It had been one hell of a long day for Sirius and Marlene. Moody had decided that none of them were pulling their weight so they had to have an extensive training day today. They had apparated to Marlene's apartment in South London.

"Oh Merlin, even death couldn't be this bad surely! I think after today I won't be able to walk again. Ever!" Sirius added the "Ever!" as an afterthought as threw himself on Marlene's plush sofa. Marlene laughed at his dramatics and went to a cupboard to grab a bottle of firewhiskey and two shot glasses.

"Personally, I think we deserve a little firewhiskey after a day like that don't you Mr. Black?" She too threw herself on the sofa in a similar fashion to Sirius right next to him.

"Yes Miss McKinnon, yes I do." Marlene poured them both a shot and gave him one glass. They both downed it at exactly the same time and made the same face as it burned down their throats.

"I never get used to it. No matter how many shots, after shots I have." Sirius laughed while looking at the liquid in the bottle, holding it up to the light. They had a long moment of just comfortable silence before Marlene broke it with a question.

"Sirius, why did you come back here? You could have just gone home." She didn't even look at him as she said it just kept staring straight ahead.

"I don't know really. Why did you come to mine yesterday after work? You could have just come back here then." Sirius drawled lazily while pouring them both another shot. Marlene contemplated what he had said and shook her head. They could leave that rest for the time being. Instead she decided to ask Sirius something he probably didn't have the answer to. Something that had been bothering her for the longest of times.

"Why do you think that I will never be the best friend to Lily or Alice?" Her tone hadn't changed and she still kept her gaze fixated on staring into space. She took a small sip of her freshly poured firewhiskey. Sirius stared at her with a slightly concerned look on his face.

"What makes you say that Marly? You know you're Lily's best friend."

"I'm not Alice though am I? Look at how excited she was when she thought Alice might have sent her a letter. I doubt she would run if she thought she might have a letter from me."

"Stop being stupid Marly, you know she would if she hadn't seen you like hasn't seen Alice. She did tell you first though. You were the first out of everyone to know she was pregnant, that has to make you kind of special right?" he nudged her and gave her a wink in an attempt to cheer her up. He was slightly alarmed when he saw that in her eyes were unshed tears.

"That wasn't out of choice. That was because she had nobody else close enough to confide in. If Alice were there she would have only told her, I would have found out with the rest of you. I know I sound like a jealous cow but I just feel sort of lonely. I guess I should be used to it by now though. It was like that back in Hogwarts. They would go off and have a chat together in the library or just somewhere I didn't particularly enjoy going then I would go and shag some guy. Just really for something to do. I guess it's the same now really. Lily and Alice have always been like sisters to each other. You and the guys have always been like brothers to each other. I just wish that I had a friend who felt the had a connection like that with me." She looked down at her hands clasped around her glass.

"You're right," She turned her head to look at Sirius. "You _are_ being a jealous cow, but I guess I understand why. You're right about them being closer I guess. I mean it's always been Lily and Alice. Ever since the first day of the first year. If I remember rightly didn't you use to call Lily a "stuck-up ice bitch"?" Marlene blushed at that and opened her mouth to reply but he cut in first. "I know things were different then, you changed, of course I know that. Sitting in front of me is a woman who would never intentionally try to hurt somebody ever. You may have used to have been a little, teeny-tiny bit of a bitch but you have become the most loving, caring funniest woman I have the pleasure of knowing. You were most definitely wrong about one thing though. You do have a friend who feels like he has a connection with you," he took hold of her hand and grinned lop-sided at her. "You've got me Marly." She smiled gratefully and squeezed his hand.

They lapsed back into their comfortable silence for a while, still holding hands, before Sirius interrupted it this time with his own thoughts and fears. He carried on almost as if the silence had never happened.

"Anyway, at least you're not a selfish bastard like me." He let out a mirthless laugh and then downed the rest of his shot not even wincing this time. The last time was mainly for show so Marlene wouldn't feel quite as bad for not being able to handle it.

"You're not really selfish Sirius. James didn't mean that this morning. They have problems of their own I guess. He shouldn't have taken it out on you." She said trying to get a glimmer of the old Sirius back - the positive, life-of-the-party spirit. Instead sitting next to her was a very sad, defeated, lonely young man.

"I am Marlene, really I am. Not only am I selfish but also I'm amazingly stupid. I really don't think about what I do, I'm going to get somebody killed one day – hell I almost did before!" He took a deep breath to ready himself for her reaction to what he was about to tell her. "Back in sixth year I did something pretty bad to Snape. It was full moon and Snape had done something to piss me off. I can't even remember what to be honest. I got a stupid idea in the heat of the moment to give him a scare. I wanted to make him terrified. So I led him out to the Shrieking Shack and I left him there. I left him where Remus could have turned him or even killed him Marlene. Anyway, James saved him and we had a fight about it. I honestly almost killed Severus Snape and I know I've never liked him but I couldn't have lived with myself if – if he had actually been killed. I'm the monster sometimes, not Remus. Never Remus, never James. I'm the monster of us all. I guess I must have more of the Black family genes in me than I thought." His eyes were now swimming with tears and his face was determinedly staring at the floor. He had felt her grip slacken slightly on his hand but he was too terrified to look at her face. Even to this day, two years later, he still felt amazingly ashamed about it all. He desperately didn't want Marlene to feel the same disdain for him as he did himself.

Suddenly he felt her hand underneath his chin. She was forcing his head up to look at her.

"Listen to me Sirius Black. Don't you ever call yourself a monster ever again. You can't possibly even think you're a monster after what you said to me before all of that. About being there for me. I won't lie what you did was awful. But the fact that you feel so bad so long after shows how much you care. You could never be a monster Sirius Black because I wouldn't- I wouldn't…" she trailed off, she had been going so strong up until this point but she desperately couldn't get out what she knew she wanted to say next. She settled for something different instead. "I wouldn't be friends with you if you were one. So I think we should make a deal okay? We both will stop feeling sorry for ourselves and start to try and cheer up a bit yeah?" she searched his eyes as she spoke to him, getting lost in the grey pools that she got completely overtaken by every time she looked into them. The corner of Sirius' mouth quirked up in a small smile.

"How ironic is this? The two most upbeat, usually positive members of our groups and we are making a pact to start cheering up." Marlene too started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Soon their soft chuckling had turned into full-blown laughter. They clutched onto each other as they laughed for no particular reason. Perhaps the firewhiskey was starting to kick in.

Their laughter finally died down and they relaxed leaning onto each other both smiling to themselves. Marlene licked her lips as she started to feel an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, she had to say this now or she would never be able to work out the courage to say it again.

"So, Sirius. You haven't really been mentioning your "shags of the week", having a bit of a dry spell is it?" she tried being joking with him and wasn't really surprised when he laughed with her. He never did pick up on things easily.

"Yeah I guess you could call it that. Maybe I'm just maturing. What about you eh? I haven't really heard about your latest guys yet either."

"Yeah well, maybe I'm starting to mature too." They locked eyes for a moment both refusing to look away. They both had a newfound confidence and were almost daring the other to look away.

"Well yeah, but you've always been too good for all of those guys anyway." Sirius' voice had suddenly gone husky as he oh so slowly started leaning closer to Marlene. Marlene felt the air leave her lungs.

"Really?" Marlene was ashamed of the way her voice came off so weak and breathily. She was leaning closer to him as he did the same to her. She couldn't even remember when they had gotten so close but before she knew it they were so close their lips were brushing softly against the other as they both tried to get words out. Their noses were pressed against each other's.

"Yes Marly, really." And with that Sirius pressed his lips against Marlene's. It was more spectacular than they had both remembered a month ago. Their lips pressed softy and sensually against each other's at first but when Marlene felt his tongue lightly ask permission to enter her mouth the kiss became altogether completely different. They both felt an animalistic hunger take over and it became more heated and passionate. Marlene's hands worked their way up and down his chest, dying to get underneath his shirt so that she could feel his skin underneath her fingertips, so she wouldn't have to feel lonely again. Her wish was semi-granted when she felt his hands working their way up the back of her own shirt and leaving red-hot trails on her skin where he touched her. She was losing herself in him, completely intoxicated with him. She needed to stop, if even for a moment to check something. She was no longer going to be used. She ripped her mouth away from his and he whimpered slightly at the loss. He tried to capture her lips once more but she dodged him.

"Sirius, please just answer my question first. Do you actually really want me? Or is this all just to make you feel a bit better?" She was shocked to feel a tear slip silently down her cheek. She never cried. Sirius had also noticed. He reached up his calloused hand to wipe the tear away gently. Their wild passion had died down and the tenderness was back She closed her eyes at the contact but doing this she missed the look in his eyes. One that had never been directed at a woman in the entirety of Sirius Black's life.

"There has never been anything I have wanted more." His voice was soft and full of an un-distinguishable emotion. Marlene opened her eyes at his words. She brought her own hand up to his face and stroked his cheek gently.

She nodded her head softly and that was all the encouragement he needed, so he swooped down and once again captured her lips in his.

**AN **Sooooooo what do you think?

Good? Bad?

Read and review please? Love you all!!

Caru

Cymru01

xxxoooxxx


	7. Chapter 7

AN Hey chapter 7

**AN** -** Please read this following Author's Note!!**

I am so, so, so amazingly sorry for this wait! I can't believe it has seriously taken me so long!

But I do have a pretty good excuse. I've been in hospital for 4 weeks. I got a mild case of pneumonia that was a bit serious for a bit but I'm okay now (which by the way I took as very, _very_ spooky considering I gave Lily a mild case of pneumonia in chapter 4). Anyway I had access to the computer for a bit and I read some other stories and reviewed etc. and I got some new ideas for this story because I wasn't entirely happy with it. But now I'm back and ready for action! ;)

I am reposting all my other chapters with this as well because I have several grammatical mistakes that need to be altered and so on.

I would like to say thank you to every one of you who has reviewed so far.

Thanks to **James' Lily Flower, Beefcake the Mightly, LoonyLuna127, shetlandlace, MarauderROCKSTAR, Nymphie94 **and finally **Cool-mulle **to whom I had promised this chapter a long while ago and for that I dedicate this chapter to you **Cool-mulle. **

So I just really hope that you all forgive me and hopefully are still reading?

I love you. :-)

Love Is The Drug

Chapter 7

Lily had been a slight emotional wreck that day. After hearing the news from the paper she had broken down in the most un-Lily-like of fashions. In all honesty it had really freaked James out. He was assuming that she was having one of those weird pregnancy emotion days or something.

After initially reading it she had stormed off to her bedroom and paced angrily looking for something to hit but as soon as she had seen James enter the room she had fallen into bits and cried desperately into his shoulder. The rest of the day had passed with James telling her meaningless sentiments like "It'll all be okay," and "I'll make it better, don't worry." He knew that really those things meant nothing but he felt as though those were the only things he could think of saying that would be even remotely comforting.

Lily had never lost it this bad before. Hell, she didn't even really get that upset normally. Lily gets angry – that's the way it's always been. They didn't call her an "ice-bitch" back in Hogwarts for no reason after all. Before they knew it the day was gone. The day was blur of crying, comforting visit from neighbours and press pretending to be neighbours. All in all it had been a really emotionally draining day. Currently James was lounging on the sofa with a glass of some muggle whiskey with his wife sitting between his legs resting her head on his chest.

"You know, you shouldn't have gone off on Sirius like that this morning," Lily was having a break from crying, which James was thankful for, but when she made this statement it almost had him wishing that she was crying again. He knew what he had said to Sirius was pretty uncalled for and he felt really bad about it. He just didn't really want people reminding him off the fact he had probably depressed his metaphorical brother and driven him to go find some skank at a bar to sleep with.

"Yeah, I know." He sighed tiredly and massaged his brow. "Do you think I should go see him? Try and clear the air." He felt her nod against his chest and then she pushed herself up, pushing her hands on his thighs. She walked over to the mirror and got her wand out.

"Yeah, you should. Go on you go over to Sirius' see if he's allright, have a drink with him or something." She paused to say an incantation, which caused her blood-shot eyes and blotchy skin to go back to normal and even giving her a slight glow which could possibly be natural, from the pregnancy and all. "Go on, we've both had a hard day. It will do us good to get out for a bit"

"You going to come with me too then?"

"Nope, you have to make up with him on your own. I think I'll go see Marlene though. Merlin knows she my only best friend who's actually there for me anyway." She was now checking that her hair didn't look a mess and was mussing it up purposely from behind. James never understood why women did this when going to go see girl mates. Surely it was just to make them sexy. Why would they want to look sexy if the only people there were going to be people who they didn't care if their mates looked sexy or not. Unless all of his teenage fantasies had been true…

He was caught up in his wonderful imagination for a while and didn't hear Lily repeat his name over and over trying to get his attention. In defeat Lily had got a pillow and thrown it forcibly at his head. This brought him tumbling back down to Earth.

"You dirty bugger! You were just thinking of me and Marly having a saucy sleepover weren't you?" She stood with her hands on her hips and her mouth open in mock outrage. He too stood up and went to grab his coat.

"Come on! How could you even tell that was what I was thinking?"

"What can I say I know you too well," she stuck her tongue out playfully and he walked up to her and offered his arm to her.

"I'm so very glad to see you have perked up Mrs Potter, will you accompany me to the end of our street so that we may both apparate to our respective friends?" Lily giggled and went to grab her own coat. They walked slowly with a little playful banter, which had been absent all day. Finally they parted ways and both apparated to their own friend's apartments.

Lily stood outside Marlene's door and cheerily knocked a tune knowing how much stuff like that annoyed Marlene. There was no answer.

"Marly?! You in sweets?" Lily paused while awaiting an answer. No answer came. Lily apprehensively reached out to the door handle and tried opening the door. She found it unlocked. Puzzled she let herself in and froze when she saw the scene of destruction that was Marlene's lounge. There were clothes scattered in random places throughout the room a table had been overturned leaving a smashed vase littering the wooden flooring. There was some sort of liquid on the floor that looked a bit like whiskey next to a load of smashed glass. Issues of Witch Weekly that had once been neatly arranged on the coffee table were now all over the floor, some ripped. There was only one conclusion that Lily could come to as to what could have caused this destruction.

Death eaters.

She felt a ball of anxiety and dread build up in her stomach. This was all her fault, they had probably found out about the baby and wanted to capture Lily so took Marlene to find out where she was. Lily looked around the room frantically to see if there was any blood or anything that might suggest Marlene had been hurt. She noticed a slight dent in the wall leading to Marlene's bedroom. Lily put her hand over her mouth shakily as felt her self begin to well with tears. What if they had left Marlene's body in there? She took tentative steps towards the door and took a deep breath of encouragement before trying to open the door. The scene that met her was horrifying and one that would be burned into her retinas for the rest of her life. Sirius' bare arse.

The once silent apartment was now abundant with the sounds of moans and groans as what must have been a silencio charm had been broken. A high-pitched moan that belonged to Marlene made Lily shriek her name with slight disgust but mainly relief.

"Lily!! Shit, Sirius, oh crap," Marlene had abruptly broken away from Sirius and was now gathering the bed covers around herself as Sirius, still not realising what was going on, whimpered at the loss of her body. Lily made a small cough in the background to alert Sirius to her presence. He turned his head slightly and saw his best mates wife standing right there. In shock he stood up quickly and at the look of Lily's widened eyes thought to cover his nether regions.

"Uh, you allright Lils?" he was trying to keep an air of nonchalance in his voice but was failing miserably as Marlene put her head into the palms of her hand. Lily in the mean time however had broken up into a huge grin, which really did disconcert Sirius greatly.

"Oh me? I'm absolutely great Sirius, but I'm guessing now isn't really the time for chit chat so I will just be off." Lily turned to the door and was about to leave before she turned her head around again, if possible her grin even bigger this time. "I'm so glad you two have worked this all out! I'm so happy for you both! If you weren't all sweaty and you know kind of sexed up I would so go and give you both the hugest hugs of you lives!!" She squealed and finally left the room. She practically sprinted out of the apartment so that she could apparate home and tells James about the pair their best friends. Sirius looked at Marlene confusedly and saw she still wore the same look of embarrassment across her face and was still clutching the white sheets firmly to her chest.

"I would have thought you would have been used to being caught seeing as you're with someone new all the time. Must happen all the time surely."

"Says you Sirius, but it's different this time. I mean it was you and me not just some random guy." Marlene looked slightly ashamed and this thought kind of angered Sirius a little. Why was it so horrible that they were found together, was the idea of somebody having sex with him that bad? But all of his anger flew out the window as she took her hand away from the bed covers so that she could massage her temples with both hands and her breasts came into view. Sirius grinned seductively at her and started crawling towards her on the bed.

"So, shall we carry on where we left off?" He gently placed feather-light kisses on her shoulder but Marlene brushed him off and stood up, walking to the door to grab her dressing gown.

"Not right now okay. Damn, that was a hell of a mood-killer." She left the room and with it an incredibly horny and frustrated Sirius Black.

* * *

"So then I just left them to it!" Lily had just finished retelling her tale of Sirius and Marlene to her husband who had been awaiting her, confused as to where his best mate was.

"Awwh well, I guess he won't be mad at me then! I reckon he really likes her mind." James started gazing off dreamily and Lily looked at him strangely.

"You really are oddly feminine sometimes James. Stop it, it's creeping me out!" She hit him with a cushion and then proceeded to their kitchen to make them both a cup of coffee. She noticed she still hadn't read Dan's letter when she saw it on the counter. While the coffee was still brewing she supposed that she would have a read of it now. She ripped open the envelope and saw Dan's neat scrawl.

_Hey Lils,_

_How's everything? Is the baby doing okay? I hope so. Sean says hi I'm sure. Well to be honest I haven't really seen much of him lately-he's been out. A lot. I'm actually a little worried about him. He won't tell me where he's going most nights, probably to meet up with some girl. But he's making things worse and worse for the both of us. I mean it's been really hard to keep up with the rent on this place and now it's all basically on my head seeing as Sean still doesn't have a job. But the thing is that the board shop where I work is closing down. I'm going to be let off work Lily, then we'll have no income until I can find a new job. So, this kind of brings me on to my next thing that I have to tell you. We can't keep up with the rent, plain and simple, I've done the maths and we can't stay here. We have to be out of here by tomorrow well it will be today by the time you read this I guess and we were wondering if we could come stay with our little baby sis while we're looking for a new place? We don't really have anywhere else to go. Things with dad are well, lets not get into that. Petunia is spending all her time with Vermin and they've just moved in together last week last I heard, actually I have some news about her and Vernon that I shall tell you once I see you._

_Because we have to be out by tomorrow if we don't have any confirmation from you we will be coming to you okay? I'm so sorry we are doing this to you Lily but we don't have anywhere else to go. So unless you categorically, most definitely don't want us there and James is 100 against it then we will be at yours by about nine tomorrow evening seeing as we have some other things to take care of as well._

_All my love baby sis,_

_Dan xxx_

Lily looked at the clock, it was twenty past nine now. If they were coming then where the hell were they?

"James, that letter from Dan, he was asking if him and Sean could move in with us for a while." She looked at her husbands' expression, which wasn't one of horror but lets just say it wasn't one of joy.

"Lily, where the hell are they going to sleep? I mean this place is hardly even big enough for the two of us." He gestured with his hands at their dinky little flat. Lily looked helplessly around her, she wanted to help her brothers out desperately the way that they would help her out without a second thought but James was right. They had absolutely no room.

"Well, I guess they could sleep on the sofa, you know go top/tail or something." She looked at the small sofa and knew that her two 6ft 4 brothers would be hanging off the ends of that sofa. But at the end of the day they were beggars, they couldn't afford to be choosers. James sighed and tiredly raked his hand through his black locks.

"Fine, whatever. They're your brothers I guess." She smiled at his understanding but then frowned when she thought how rude it was that not only had her brother only given her a 12 hour warning but he was twenty minutes late.

"They're late mind you. Maybe they aren't coming after all." A click told her that the coffee was done brewing so she turned around.

"Here's hoping," James muttered under his breath in the hope that Lily wouldn't hear him. Luckily for him she didn't. she gave him his cup of coffee and they waited for her two brothers. And they waited. And they waited some more. Soon it was half past eleven and Lily was starting to feel nauseous again. James was watching some muggle programme on the television that Lily had supplied for them. Their flat must have been the most mugglefied **(AN- Ha! Made up a word)** place that a wizard and witch had ever had.

"James, I've gotta go to the loo. If they come now tell them that I'm really pissed at them okay?" James nodded at her and kissed the back of her hand before she started making her way towards the toilet. Just then though the fire came to life and with a flash of light her two brothers came falling through. Both covered in black soot, carrying numerous bags and on the ground spluttering. The smell of ash was only making Lily's nausea worse and she started to sway slightly on the spot.

"Oh my –cough- lord! –Cough-. That was an experience and a –cough- half!" Sean said as he picked himself up and brushed off the excess soot. James came over and gave Dan a hand to help him up. Sean turned to Lily.

"Lils! I'm so sorry I haven't been writing but you know I love you right?" He walked forward to give her a hug but that was the exact moment that Lily's stomach had decided enough was enough and they should just empty their contents already. Unfortunately this meant all over Sean's "ACDC" band top. The orangey remnants of Lily's lunch slid slowly down Sean's chest and Lily just looked at him with woozy eyes.

"Nice to see you too Lily." Sean mumbled while holding his top away from his body.

**AN **Ok, let's hope people got to this point eh?

So I promise you all right that chapter 8 will be up within the next 24 hours and maybe even chapter 9 too. I feel very bad for leaving you all for so long. :(

Please review? Even if it is to tell me you're disappointed in me.

Caru

Cymru01

xxxoooxxx


	8. Chapter 8

Love Is The Drug

Chapter 8

Sirius was awoken by a sudden burst of sunlight blinding him through his closed eyelids. Instinctively he raised a hand to shield his baby blues and articulately questioned why he was being awoken with:

"Mneh?" He started to sit up when he felt his aching muscles protest and he fell back to the cushiony heaven of Marlene's mattress with a groan. Marlene rolled her eyes at him and ripped away the covers from his grasp.

"Get up Sirius," she carried on walking around the room looking for a pair of earrings. Sirius finally opened his eyes and looked at her. He had a silly grin plastered on his face and was just about ready to make some sort of seductive suggestion to her when he saw she was fully dressed in a pair of jeans and blouse and he frowned.

"You're going?" He didn't try and hide his disappointment but it seemed that Marlene didn't notice as she cried out in triumph as she found the pair of earrings she was looking for.

"Yeah, I woke up and remembered that I promised Mary Macdonald – you remember her right? She went out with my brother last year? – well, anyway I had arranged to have lunch with her and if I don't go like," she paused to look at her watch. "Five minutes ago then I will be even later!"

Sirius put his arms behind his head and stretched, he looked as though he had no intention of moving just yet. Marlene turned around when she heard no answer and looked exasperated when she saw he hadn't moved, and if you had looked extra hard you would have seen a slight blush tinge her cheeks at the fact Sirius Black was splayed buff naked across her bed.

"Sirius! Get up and get dressed now! You need to leave – now! Seriously Sirius, just get up! And if you dare to make a Sirius, serious joke I will plough your head against the wall!" She walked hurriedly to her bathroom to go get some perfume. She didn't even notice the look of confusion on Sirius' face. He started to say something but then cut himself off not really knowing what to say. He pushed himself off the bed and found his boxers lying in the corner of her room hanging off a picture of her and her two brothers all sharing a huge cocktail with umbrellas in it, laughing manically. He smiled at the glee on Marlene's face in the picture but then was sure he saw her eldest brother glare at him and hurriedly put on his boxers.

He saw his jogging bottoms on the floor and picked them up. Absentmindedly, he put them on whilst walking out of Marlene's bedroom and towards her bathroom. He pushed the door open slightly and saw her standing at the mirror applying some makeup. She saw him in the reflection. Still, shirtless. She sighed and put down her eyeliner before turning towards him.

"Sirius, please just get dressed. I need to be leaving and no offence but I don't trust you to lock up ad stuff." She pushed past him and went into her lounge, throwing cushions out of her way as she searched for his shirt.

"Marlene? You're not like - you know – regretting or something last night?" Marlene stopped her search and looked up at him. She walked over to him and placed her hands lightly on his chest.

"Of course I don't regret it. I just really do need to be somewhere right now." He smiled slightly and placed his hands around her waist. She smirked back and placed a chaste kiss to his lips before breaking away to continue looking for his shirt. "Yeah, it was exactly what I needed."

Sirius stood in the same place trying to take in her words and make sense of them.

"Aha! Here it is!" She held it up triumphantly and also grabbed Sirius' shoes and socks. She shoved them in his arms and grabbed her own purse and keys. She pushed him forcibly out of the door until they were both standing in her hallway. As she was locking the door, Sirius noticed that a neighbour of Marlene's was just locking her own door. After being slightly confused by her wide eyes for a second Sirius realised it could be something to do with the fact that he was half naked. He grinned sheepishly while pulling his shirt over his head and clumsily shoving his feet into his shoes. Once Marlene had gotten the door to lock she followed Sirius' gaze to her next-door neighbour.

"What the hell are you staring at Shelly?" Marlene's voice didn't even try to hide her irritation.

"Oh nothing Marlene," the woman now known as Shelly smirked at Marlene who fake smiled back.

"If only she knew what her god damn husband is up to behind her back," Marlene glared angrily at Shelly's retreating back down the corridor. Sirius fleetingly thought that he didn't really want to know how _Marlene _knew what her husband was up to either. She turned to Sirius and smiled once more.

"Okay, so thanks again for last night. As I said it was exactly what I needed. And don't forget that we have an order meeting at 5 at Hogwarts tonight. Lils, James and Remus said they would meet us there. Maybe you could go see if Peter is going too. I haven't seen him in so long. Well anyways gotta go bye." She ruffled his hair affectionately then apparated on the spot.

Sirius was totally bemused, his jaw hanging open as he realised what had just happened.

He could hardly believe it.

Marlene had used him as some sort of one night stand.

* * *

It was just coming up to 5 and Marlene was making her way through the castle. Savouring the familiarity of the corridors and that general Hogwarts smell. She loved when Dumbledore decided to hold Order meetings in the school. She had only been out of school for a little over 6 months but she missed it so much.

She felt safe in Hogwarts. Of course she was probably no safer in Hogwarts than she was now in her apartment with hundreds of protection spells surrounding it, but it was still the fact it was Hogwarts.

She didn't rush, even though she was pretty sure that it would take her at least ten minutes to make it up to Dumbledore's office from where she was and that was at the pace that Lily would usually force her to go.

She remembered all of the times she, Lily and Alice had gone running down these corridors. Sometimes because they were late for class after having a girly chat that lasted just a little too long. Sometimes they had been down at the kitchens and were running back laughing jovially at the thought of actually getting caught by Filch, all forgetting that it wasn't really dangerous at all considering Lily was head girl.

On occasion Marlene had just ran down these halls as a way of release. She stopped walking and looked around her. There was nobody else in these corridors that she could see. A smirk worthy of a marauder came to her lips as she took off at an impressive speed down the corridor.

She revelled in the childish act. She loved the feeling of her hair fly behind her as she ran as fast as she thought she could. She laughed at herself. A chuckle to begin with but then all out laughter as she ran down the halls feeling more free than she had since she left Hogwarts. Her safe haven.

She rounded the corner but then came to a large barrier that she ran full pelt into. The force pushed her backwards and off her feet onto the cold, stone floor. The wind had been knocked out of her and she gasped for breath as she heard a well-missed, familiar voice.

"Blimey Marlene? Is tha' you? Merlin's beard yeh should be more careful goin' 'bout these hallways. Don' be thinking tha' jus because the Marauders have left now don' mean there aren' some trouble makers still leavin' booby traps and the likes around here." Hagrid offered her a hand to help her up. Despite the fact she had had all the wind knocked out of her by this man she couldn't help but feel her face light up when she saw her old friends face and let him pull her to her feet so she could give his mid section a huge hug.

"Fer a girl who jus got the wind knocked outta her yeh're pretty happy," he chuckled at her, which made his whole body shake. Marlene took one last deep breath to get her breath completely back.

"Just happy to see you Hagrid!" He chuckled once more and she broke away from him linking her arm through his and strolled down the corridor dragging him with her. This pace was much more reasonable, she thought compared to the speed she had been going at not a few minutes ago.

"So, how have you been since we last saw you? Any potential new Marauders on the run?" Marlene gave him a nudge and winked. Hagrid ducked his head and bushed. Everybody knew that Hagrid had a slight crush on her. Always told everyone she was the most talented witch of their age when he'd had one too many shots of firewhiskey.

"Yeh know, same ol' same ol'. Nah, Sirius needn't worry 'bout anyone stealin' his title jus' yet." They carried on with companionable conversation until they reached Dumbledore's office and Hagrid said the password and entered first. Marlene looked around her former headmasters' office. It had been magically enlarged to accommodate all of the Order and there was quite a nice atmosphere as everybody chitchatted and mingled with each other before the meeting began.

Hagrid was pulled away to go talk with Sturgis Podmore and a woman who Marlene couldn't place. She walked a bit into the room when she spotted her friends across the room. Sirius was sat in between Remus and Peter, all of their heads were bent low and they were discussing something fervently. Perhaps her.

James was leaning back in his chair laughing wholeheartedly at the scene in front of him. She followed his gaze to see Lily transfiguring her glass of water into simple bubbles therefore amazing their other companion who had a look of pure awe on his face.

The companion, Marlene just realised, was Daniel Evans. Lily's brother.

She swallowed thickly as she realised who else must be with them.

Sirius had just noticed she was there and grinned wolfishly at her before waving her over to join them. She started to walk over to them when a pair of hands covered her eyes thus causing her to freeze in both fear and anticipation, as she was sure she knew exactly who it was.

"Guess who Marly-moo." Marlene felt all breath leave her. Even more so then when she had been bawled over by Hagrid.

"Sean." It wasn't an exclamation and it wasn't a question. It was Marlene making a statement in a most breathy and un-Marlene like manner. He dropped his hands and spun her around so she was mere inches away from his face, which was adorned with a trademark Cheshire cat grin.

"Awwh! No fun, you knew." He gave her a wink and then waited for her to recover from her initial shock. Being this close to him Marlene couldn't help but let her self smile too. Once she smiled back Sean decided it safe to wrap his arms around her in what he felt was a friendly hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her eyes flutter closed. Before she knew it he picked her up and spun her around causing her to squeal in surprise. Once again another un-Marlene thing to do, but she didn't seem to be her self much around him at all.

Across the room they had gained the attention of Sirius who had been watching the entire exchange. Remus and Peter were now in discussion about a recent Quidditch game between the Chudley Cannons and the Caerphilly Catapults. When he saw Sean's arms snake around Marlene's waist and lift her off from the ground he felt his fist clench around his glass of water thus causing the glass to shatter into pieces. James went oblivious to this as he continued to entertain Dan by transfiguring his own glass into a rat and then changing the colours of its fur. Remus brushed off the glass that had flown onto his robes.

"Bloody hell Sirius, what's wrong with you?" Remus moved away out of the danger area that was Sirius and dragged Peter with him for his own safety. Lily's attention had been piqued when she heard the glass shatter and she followed Sirius' gaze to Marlene and her brother. She bit her lip in thought and looked at Sirius' flustered expression.

She rose from her seat and took Remus' vacant seat.

"Here, give me your hand." She took his hand and with her wand healed the cuts he had made from the glass. Once healed she smiled at him, but saw that his gaze was still firmly fixed Sean and Marlene. She sighed and then decided it was time to get her best friends' attention.

"Hey! Marlene!" Marlene turned at the mention of her name and for some unknown reason blushed when she saw Sirius and Lily staring at her. Lily smiled at her, albeit forcibly, and waved her over. "Come here, the meeting's going to start in a minute!"

"Come on then Marly-moo, it seems you're in demand." Sean winked at her and put a hand on the small of her back while leading her over to her friends and his sister. He seemingly didn't notice the chills it gave her when he put his hand there.

She sat down in Peters unoccupied seat and Sean dragged Lily's old seat to the other side of Marlene. Marlene's eyes widened as she realised she was in the middle of them both.

Sirius felt a sudden need to mark Marlene in some way as his.

He placed a hand on her arm and rubbed it softly to get her attention. She turned toward him and saw him give her a sweet smile. One that would make any girl's heart melt.

"Hey babe," he leaned in and soundly placed his lips upon hers. It lasted longer than it really had to and Sean was looking around the room anyway. Lily rolled her eyes but couldn't help her smirk as she witnessed Sirius' display of masculinity in trying to ward off competition.

They broke away and Marlene looked slightly put out and more like the regular Marlene.

"Babe? Sirius if you dare to call me babe again it will be the last thing you ever do okay?" Sirius grinned at her words and placed another short kiss to her sweet lips.

"Of course babe." Marlene swatted his arm and they both laughed at each other affectionately. Both seemed to have forgotten Sean's presence and in all honesty Sean had forgotten about their presences as well as his attention had been firmly caught by the arrival of somebody new. He picked up his chair and moved it next to his sister who was staring adoringly at Marlene and Sirius in their loved up state. He rolled his eyes at his sister's romance obsession but then double tracked when he saw Sirius and Marlene basically nuzzling noses and wondered when that had happened. He shook his head and remembered what he actually wanted to ask Lily.

"Hey Lils," she turned to look at him. "Who's that who just came in? That bird with the red hair?" Lily turned to look at the doorway and saw Molly and Arthur Weasley talking animatedly with Hagrid. She furrowed her brow and turned back to Sean.

"What? Molly Weasley?"

"Is that her name?" Sean went back to staring at the woman he now knew as Molly Weasley. Lily kept on looking back and forth between Sean and Molly.

"Sean. You- you don't," she trailed off when she looked at Sean staring at Molly biting his lip with that familiar twinkle in his eye. Her mouth dropped open and she shook her head. "No Sean."

He turned to look at her and was about to question her when she beat him to it.

"No Sean. I don't usually get involved in your love life or whatever you want to call it but I'm stepping in now. Molly Weasley is off limits. She has three sons for Christ's sake!" Sean shot her an incredulous look. Silent for a few moments.

"Okay Lily, I'm not being funny with you but I am four years older than you. I am twenty-two years old and I think I can make my own decisions."

"Sean! She is like about fifteen, maybe twenty years older than you!" She raised her hand to emphasise her point. He smirked at her.

"Well maybe I like a more mature lady, aint that right Marly?" Marlene was suddenly brought out of her small cocoon with Sirius and murmured incoherently at being asked her opinion. Thankfully it was at this moment that Dumbledore decided to begin the meeting. As he stood in front of everyone else everybody was silenced at once.

"Good evening one and all, we all know why we are here so shall we just cut to the chase so we can all enjoy some of Madame Rosmerta's fine butterbeer?" A few chuckled and Dumbledore smiled at them all.

Lily glanced at her brother out of the corner of her eye and saw him trying to catch the eye of Molly Weasley. She then looked at Marlene who was in turn staring at Sean, and Sirius at Marlene.

With a sigh, Lily contemplated how complicated this entire situation had gotten and how much of a mess she was sure it would become.

But she placed a hand over her abdomen as she looked over to Amelia Bones who had lost her brother, sister-in-law, nephew and niece last month.

_Things could still get a lot worse…_

**AN** Sooooooo opinions?

Like it? Hate it?

Oh and I also want to apologise for my Hagrid speak. I wanted to have him in this chapter but I was thoroughly embarrassed at the way I did him speaking. It was terrible. LOL!

Caru ti!

Cymru01

xxxoooxxx


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